2013: The Year of Loss
I like to think of myself as not being overly dramatic, even though this post title suggests otherwise. I've been thinking about this post for a while now and The Year of Loss seemed most appropriate. I will try to approach this in a chronological order, but the truth of that will depend on the accuracy of my memory.
The first thing I lost was my dog, Bandit. Technically he was my brother's dog, but obviously he was partly mine as well.
It was Friday, March 22, 2013. I woke up that morning to a phone call from my mom asking what time I was going to be home because she had to take Bandit to the vet and didn't want to go alone. Thinking that nothing was wrong, I told her that I wouldn't be able to leave school until 2 and she agreed that she would just have to go before I got there. She sounded normal; nothing in her tone was suggesting that this was the last time we would talk about Bandit while he was alive. I spent Friday and Saturday night at my dad's house so I had no idea that Friday was his last day. My mom, sister, and I went out with my best friend's family for lunch after church and afterwards my mom was pretty adamant about me going shoe shopping with her. She ends up telling me what happened all in the car outside of Shoe Gallery: how he had been so sick Wednesday and Thursday night and how he was struggling to breath and how she went with Ms. Maggie to put him down. How the vets thought it was cancer but weren't positive but they were positive that treatment wouldn't be successful and he would just be suffering. And all I could think about was how he took his last breath without me; I wasn't there to comfort him in his time of need like he had done for me countless times before. How I had taken the last time I had seen him for granted, simply assuming that he would be there again the next time I came home. Here I sit, almost a year later, getting choked up over the way Bandit died. Some people say, "It's just a dog", but he was so incredibly much more than a 'just a dog'. Bandit was the greatest pup that could have ever been picked for our family and he will always be missed. Always.
The second thing I lost was my sister living at home. Now that may not seem like a loss, and for the longest time I didn't consider it one either. But I lost the comfort of coming home to my Dad's house and having her there. She moved out in April and it was an exciting time for everyone. I'm simply one that mourns over any change and the loss of what was.
The third thing I lost is similar to the second one, however it involves a roommate and not a sister. Georgia and I shared a room at school from January until May when she graduated and moved out. I had not met Georgia until sometime in 2012 when all of us girls decided to live together. She turned out to be one the funniest, most honest, selfless girls I have lived with. Georgia has a way of finding humor in situations that can make even an English palace guard on duty smile. She is beautiful and it was such a joy to be able to spend those five months sharing a room. Beta Beta lost the glue that holds us together when she left.
The fourth thing I lost was my Dad's house. I was taking summer classes (surprise, surprise) in May and June and then an internship at home in July. I went home June 28 and by the time I left for vacation July 3, he told me to have all of my stuff packed because he was renting the house out. So okay, technically the house didn't sell until January 15, 2014, but I have not been that house since July of last year. This is the same house that has caught on fire twice, the second time was when it burned to the ground. It's disconcerting to drive by your childhood home with some other family living in it and not be able to go inside.
The fifth thing I lost was my Mom's house. She had been talking about selling it since February of that year, but it doesn't make the process any easier. With her house I was actually involved the packing up process and that was stressful. I don't think that I rebelled at any point of my childhood, but packing up my childhood room was another story. Two days before the movers came was when I actually started putting things in boxes. And it was miserable. August 17, 2013 was the day we moved out which was also the day that I moved back to school to start my Senior Year of college. So yeah, I was a little emotional that day. My mom is currently living in Gainesville which is just ugh. It's like an extra 20-30 minutes to get to places that I liked going to near our old house. Which, whatever. Clearly I'm being mature about this.
The sixth thing I lost was personal space. This tags onto both four and five, but I view it separately. As an introvert, time alone is vital to my well-being and those around me. With the selling of both of my parent's homes, I lost the rooms that I had to myself. My father officially moved in with his wife, who has 3 boys of her own, so our stuff was moved to the basement. My brother's girlfriend is living with my Mom, so we a re currently sharing a room whenever I'm home. Which is super fun! Fall semester I was also sharing a room at school. And it's not that Amy and I didn't get along or anything, it's simply the fact that I need to have space to myself where no one else will be 85% of the time.
The seventh thing I lost was Brittany and Caroline. Two more housemates in Beta Beta that graduated in December. They shared a room and were interesting parts to the daily workings of the House. Brittany is one of the sweetest girls I know who has an uncanny ability at voicing her surprise at anything that throws her off guard. She was semi-corrupted by mine and Karen's "That's What She Said" jokes, which was one thousand percent worth it. She's never afraid to ask questions, especially about sex even though none of us have more experience than she does. Caroline was always interesting to be around. She believed organic food was the way to go and Kashi made the best frozen pizza. She was always willing to give a hug and talk about her day, good or bad, without being asked,. Caroleena and Tiffany (her blue Honda CRV) and Brittany will be missed this semester, no doubt.
1 dog, 1 sister, 2 houses, and 3 roommates.
Hopefully this wasn't as depressing as it started out to be! I can only wonder as to what will be lost next. Sometimes it's part of the growing process, so something better can be found. Sometimes loss just sucks.
The second thing I lost was my sister living at home. Now that may not seem like a loss, and for the longest time I didn't consider it one either. But I lost the comfort of coming home to my Dad's house and having her there. She moved out in April and it was an exciting time for everyone. I'm simply one that mourns over any change and the loss of what was.
The third thing I lost is similar to the second one, however it involves a roommate and not a sister. Georgia and I shared a room at school from January until May when she graduated and moved out. I had not met Georgia until sometime in 2012 when all of us girls decided to live together. She turned out to be one the funniest, most honest, selfless girls I have lived with. Georgia has a way of finding humor in situations that can make even an English palace guard on duty smile. She is beautiful and it was such a joy to be able to spend those five months sharing a room. Beta Beta lost the glue that holds us together when she left.
The fourth thing I lost was my Dad's house. I was taking summer classes (surprise, surprise) in May and June and then an internship at home in July. I went home June 28 and by the time I left for vacation July 3, he told me to have all of my stuff packed because he was renting the house out. So okay, technically the house didn't sell until January 15, 2014, but I have not been that house since July of last year. This is the same house that has caught on fire twice, the second time was when it burned to the ground. It's disconcerting to drive by your childhood home with some other family living in it and not be able to go inside.
The fifth thing I lost was my Mom's house. She had been talking about selling it since February of that year, but it doesn't make the process any easier. With her house I was actually involved the packing up process and that was stressful. I don't think that I rebelled at any point of my childhood, but packing up my childhood room was another story. Two days before the movers came was when I actually started putting things in boxes. And it was miserable. August 17, 2013 was the day we moved out which was also the day that I moved back to school to start my Senior Year of college. So yeah, I was a little emotional that day. My mom is currently living in Gainesville which is just ugh. It's like an extra 20-30 minutes to get to places that I liked going to near our old house. Which, whatever. Clearly I'm being mature about this.
The sixth thing I lost was personal space. This tags onto both four and five, but I view it separately. As an introvert, time alone is vital to my well-being and those around me. With the selling of both of my parent's homes, I lost the rooms that I had to myself. My father officially moved in with his wife, who has 3 boys of her own, so our stuff was moved to the basement. My brother's girlfriend is living with my Mom, so we a re currently sharing a room whenever I'm home. Which is super fun! Fall semester I was also sharing a room at school. And it's not that Amy and I didn't get along or anything, it's simply the fact that I need to have space to myself where no one else will be 85% of the time.
The seventh thing I lost was Brittany and Caroline. Two more housemates in Beta Beta that graduated in December. They shared a room and were interesting parts to the daily workings of the House. Brittany is one of the sweetest girls I know who has an uncanny ability at voicing her surprise at anything that throws her off guard. She was semi-corrupted by mine and Karen's "That's What She Said" jokes, which was one thousand percent worth it. She's never afraid to ask questions, especially about sex even though none of us have more experience than she does. Caroline was always interesting to be around. She believed organic food was the way to go and Kashi made the best frozen pizza. She was always willing to give a hug and talk about her day, good or bad, without being asked,. Caroleena and Tiffany (her blue Honda CRV) and Brittany will be missed this semester, no doubt.
1 dog, 1 sister, 2 houses, and 3 roommates.
Hopefully this wasn't as depressing as it started out to be! I can only wonder as to what will be lost next. Sometimes it's part of the growing process, so something better can be found. Sometimes loss just sucks.
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